Wednesday, April 6, 2011

WWH: Wake'N'Bake 101 ~~ "Zygote"

Dr. Woody'll be 65 in a coupla weeks and the utter undeniability, the intransigent incorrigibility, the chronographical indomitability of this fact--coupled with the arrival of his Medicare card--caused him to pause and consider. These are the fruits of that epiphany:

To the manner born: 4:20 AM, 4/20, '46: I'm an "early Boomer." Indeed, I believe I was conceived about 120 miles north of the Trinity site, on or about the fateful day in July '45 when they created 'trinitite' out of the hot New Mexico sand, thereby to have become one of the FIRST "nuclear zygotes."). I am, also, therefore, about as deeply integrated into the Baby Boomer generation as a person can be. And, since we are all the sum of all we know, it seemed to me that

"You Might Be A "Real Baby Boomer" (RBB) If..."
...You remember the name of the girl/boy you were sleeping with when you heard Neil Armstrong speaking from the Moon...or if you don't...but you remember hearing him...

Or noticed when Stevie Wonder had ceased to be "Little"...

If you remember the Tet Offensive, and LBJ complaining that he'd lost the war cuz he'd lost Cronkite...

Or you enlisted to avoid the draft, or you remember your draft number (hint: 1-365), or burned your draft card, or know what it means to have had a 'deferment...'

If you had sex with someone, in the shower, washing off the tear gas residue from being gassed by the pigs for demonstrating against the invasion of Cambodia, ...

Or you remember the the name of the judge who tried the Chicago Seven, and still know the name of Howdy Doody's cow...

If you cast your first presidential ballot for Nixon cuz you didn't trust Humphrey, and the first campaign you remember had Adlai Stevenson in it...

Or you watched the Watergate hearings and cheered for Sam Ervin and his Constitution...

If you saw LBJ's surgery scar on the nightly news, or saw him lift his beagle by the ears, (or remember his palpable despair...)

Or you remember the Huntley/Brinkley Report...or Tim Buckley...Connie Stevens & Troy Donahue...Kookie, Lend Me Your Comb!...the Edsel...Hoola-Hoops...Hopalong Cassidy...

If you remember civil defense sirens and hiding under your school desk with a book over your head awaiting the inevitable nuclear attack by the Soviet Union,...

Or when Ram Das was still Richard Alpert, and Herb Alpert was HOT,...

If you remember being scared shitless every time a car engine backfired during the Cuban Missile crisis...

Or went out with a date to the drive-in, bought snacks, watched (or not) a minimum of two movies, and got burgers afters, all for less than $5, including gas...

If you remember exactly where you were and what you were doing in school at the very moment you first heard the news that JFK had been assassinated...

Or you watched Ed Sullivan on the three consecutive weekends that the Beatles first appeared on American TV...

If you remember the day Sam Cooke was shot to death in LA (Dec. 11, '64)...

Or you were listening to the radio broadcast from Miami the night Sonny Liston refused to leave his corner for the 8th round of his first fight against "Cassius Clay,"

If you remember the assassination of Malcolm X, even if you weren't sure who he was at the time,...

Or you were or are still able to lie convincingly to anyone at all that you had attended either Woodstock or Altamont...
Feel free to append your own. I make no pretense that this is anything like an exhaustive list.

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